When Babies Attack!

Yeah, they're cute, innocent and lovable, those squishy-faced little ones, but don't be caught off guard. They're also wild, unpredictable and have a will of their own. My baby girl, Little D, just turned 4 months old, and over the last month, her rocker side has definitely been coming out as well as her dragon side. That combination has proven to be quite lethal. Just ask her stuffed animal friends who have had to withstand her baby blows. Whether following by example (those little kids at daycare may not be as innocent as they appear!), or acting out basic baby fighting skills, Little D has shown Mama that she has nails, gums, hands, feet and a head, and now that's she's discovered what they do, she's going to use them-on me.  Seriously, when did sweet nursing sessions turn into wrestling matches? Here are the many fighting moves I've seen my baby and other babies do that I suspect many of you know well. The Head Butt: Not likely done on purpose, but occurs in moments of frustration, such as serious fatigue or gas or during full-on tantrum mode. Just do your best to avoid getting your nose broken by that baby skull. The Classic Hair Pull: Yeah, of course, I saw that one coming. Girls pull hair. But I think Little D learned after a baby boy pulled hers. So impressionable. (Is it bad that I giggled when I saw him do it?) Actually, the timing of D doing the Hair Pull couldn't be more perfect as my hair is falling out everywhere post-pregnancy, so little pain there. Point for Mama! Fists of Fury: Even Bruce Lee would have difficulty dodging these. This is when babies beat their fists against your chest continually, especially during nursing sessions. I've been trying to tell Little D, "Look, kid, hitting them ain't gonna make milk come out faster or at all." Didn't help. Pummel or Flying Kick: Need I explain? When my daughter does the pummel kick, she pretty much could push me off any surface I'm sitting on. It makes me think if she directed that energy another way, she could power something-or be the lead in a baby version of Stomp. As for the flying kick, it happens when you're holding baby in your arms and he or she is not happy about it. I personally like when people hold their babies horizontally and the legs go "flying" on the side. Often more entertaining to watch than air guitar, for sure. Tiger Claw: This is probably the attack move that you'll see evidence of the most-the unsightly scratch marks. It's like babies are born to mark us (and love us). Is it like their way of claiming us? Slobber Lockjaw: Ah, getting the best of both worlds-the pressure of your baby's gums/baby teeth on your arm/finger/hand squeezing the life out of your arm/finger/hand with no sign of letting go combined with his or her unending drool. Awesome. Skin Clench: One of the most paralyzing of moves, this is when the baby's hand grabs a chunk of skin anywhere on your body and twists it with all of his/her might, often so hard that victims have been known to scream in agony. Um, that victim would be me. Cool that fighter in your baby with one of our latest releases!