Potty Mouth

It is official. My daughter, Little D, finally turned a year old recently, and it was kind of a big deal.

We started our celebration early. We had a birthday party that included piñatas, Sesame Street disco jams, a surprise flute-playing minstrel, a badly beaten Sponge Bob balloon and karaoke. We even had an unexpected guest, an angry skunk, spray the family dog Pillow and our friend Jason, filling not just our home and yard with stink, but a half block radius. Add all of these ingredients together and you have this year's next big comedy, right? Something was different with this party. In the past, our parties consisted of drinking and a little dash of sin. Not this time. Yes, we did have plenty of beer and spirits on hand, but our guests were opting for the ice chest full of soda and water over alcohol. All of this became apparent as I was sitting next to my close friend and new daddy-in-training, James, who has a two-month-old. Something was different about him. You see, back in the day the two of us were notorious for throwing back some brews and speaking in explicit language. Now I am looking at my friend and he is downing sodas and explaining to me how he will soon no longer be able to listen to his underground hip-hop because of the language-though he did mention to me that he and his wife are allowed to curse while watching sports. And as I continued to watch the crowd of people interacting with their kids and other parents I could see that the days of debauchery are becoming a thing of the past. Our old tunes are replaced with nursery rhymes, lullabies and healthier food. We've exchanged drunken, slurred speech and laughing for the gibberish of a child and joy of seeing them laugh. We are no longer the irresponsible kids in yesterday's America. We became (responsible) parents. But you can have your cake and eat it, too, when it comes to our lullaby renditions of your favorite bands. No explicit lyrics in these!