Mothers Behaving Badly

I don't know about you other parents out there, but I have a confession: I've been bad. I'm on the heels of not only celebrating my daughter's first birthday, but also-something people don't have parties for, but probably should-surviving my first year of parenthood. And, I've got to say, as I've gotten closer and closer to my 1^st Mommy birthday, I've constantly been behaving badly. I don't know if it's me stressed out over planning her birthday party, me realizing, s!#? (see, bad mommy), I have a lifetime to go with this gig. Or that after all this time-41 weeks of carrying Little D, plus, the 365 days of being responsible for this little person's life-I've decided it's my turn to throw tantrums. And, boy, have I been throwing them this month.

Shall I rattle off my offenses?

• There was my mommy meltdown at work, when I managed to accuse half of the office staff for moving hand-me-down presents I had left at the desk for a new parent colleague to a junk pile. (I actually left it at the wrong desk.) Earlier in the week I was even called "angry mom" because of my roaring. Sorry, coworkers.
• I screamed at my own mom on the phone, while holding my baby and walking in 100-degree weather at a volume I didn't realize I could reach, saying, "You ruined my day," after my mom had just finished a 5K walk to raise money for cancer research. My frustration was due to street traffic she couldn't control en route to us meeting her at the finish line. (Context: I'd been in the car for 2 hours trying to get to her and she had already left. Yeah, s!#?ed.) Sorry, Mom. And, Los Angeles traffic, you totally get the finger.
• I've started screaming matches with my husband just because I'm really enjoying screaming these days. And, unfortunately, my daughter has started following my example, screaming at her papa, too. Though she's super cute screaming, "DADA...DADA...DADA!!!" all the time, and not just to him. Apparently any guy with the same build in a black T-shirt has been getting the same treatment wherever we go. Sorry, dudes.

There are more, but you get the gist. A girl at my work, sensing my mother rage sweetly said to me as I was preparing to leave to pick up Little D from daycare, "I hope you feel better." And, for a moment, I felt a sense of calm, and replied, "I always feel better when I see my baby." So, to you, Mini Me, screaming D, I promise you, Mommy will do her best not to behave badly at your birthday party and make a scene. If I do, consider me your piñata for the day. But you're still not getting any candy. Feel a baby or grownup tantrum coming on? Calm that rage with a tender lullaby. It works!